Motherhood Redefined

Creating and caring for little people is madness. A beautiful cocktail of love and exhaustion.  We sacrifice our bodies, our sleep, our self identity. We watch as our little humans invade our beds, our bathrooms and our sex lives. We surrender so much of ourselves, our energy, our sanity, our everything. And then, some of us go back and do it all over again. 

Then we’re told we are “great mothers” and that ‘tired’ is part of the package.  We wear the ‘do it yourself’, ‘worn out’ and ‘running on empty’ like a badge of honour. “They won’t be this little for long” we hear, from our own mothers, our  grandmothers and even strangers. 

But we are a generation of women who are pushing the boundaries. We are wanting more and aiming higher. We’re striving to be our best and no longer accepting outdated notions of what we should do and who we should be. So why are we still equating complete self sacrifice with five star parenting? 

This is not how it’s meant to be. We used to do it differently. Remember the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child?” You are not a village. 

Constant overwhelm, frustration or absolute pining for a minute to yourself, while patience runs thin and resentment creeps in, is not meant to be your standard.  Feeling worn is not a motherhood right of passage, nor does it reflect the depth of love for our families. 

We need to start a new conversation. One that marries motherhood with learning to nourish your soul. Where women are applauded for taking breaks, hiring nannies and making space for themselves and their sacred sanity. Where fathers step up and take the reins on a regular basis. Where perfectly clean houses and folded washing drop down the priority list and are replaced with activities that fuel the spirit and connection with others.

Where our children watch and learn that motherhood isn’t the end of passion, freedom and self care, but rather a time when the need for nurturing the body and mind become prevalent. Where accepting help is the norm and has nothing to do with self worth. 

For there has and will be plenty of times where chaos takes over and run down returns.  But complete deprivation of our beautiful selves and what makes us flourish is not the way. 

The way is to take the pressure down. Lower expectations. Not of parenting but of having and doing it all. Bring back your village, the help and support in its various shapes and forms. And with it bring back your passion and inner power. Reconnect with your desires, your dreams and reignite your creative energy.  And take back the joy that is yours. 

So here’s to a new conversation, our new way of doing and a new way of being. And to those inspiring mamas who are already leading the way. Cheers!